what's wrong with me?

2002-07-27T02:56:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling pretty blah lately. like nothing exciting ever happens to me. I dunno, am I cursed or do I unwittingly do this to myself? I am so confused. Ollie is right, we both need guys.... I dunno, I guess it's been a while since i've been in a relationship, i'm beginning to forget what it's like. blah, whatever happens happens...

but aside from boys and all that crap, i still feel like there's something missing...i dunno, whatever, i'm excited about the bbq/party tomorrow/today...hopefully it'll be fun... i wish more people could come, and that i could accommodate for more people...

2002-07-11T00:44:00.000-07:00

whoa, after like a month, i finally figured out how to work this...

anyhow...it's finally raining in arcadia...it's like a sauna in here (of course, compared to SD weather), but there were just a few drops. i honestly hope it rains more, especially when i'm here. god, i LOVE the rain during the summer...other than that, it sucks.

so now that i know how to work blogger...i can't imagine what things i would say. i dunno, it's weird...the idea of revealing my thoughts to the world (or almost anyone). if it's hard for me to reveal my thoughts, how am i supposed to reveal my inner most thoughts? i guess i'm just not confortable telling people things in such an informal way. whatever...

i still miss orientation, and all the OLs and SOCs...but now, i miss all my friends in SD...my roomies, my lil, nick and rik, willie, everyone....

speaking of rik and nick...where are they?? i haven't spoken to them forever...well i saw rik online after he came back from australia...i should give them a call.

damn, i need a car....if i had a car, i'd be in SD right now...having fun...or taking a road trip to north cal. i guess i'll just have to wait a little longer....

2002-06-30T03:03:00.000-07:00

weird day today...for some reason, i just started feeling a little down

i can't believe orientation is over. i miss the orientation team soo much. i wish orientation was like a month long thing rather than a mere 10 days. it was sooo much fun, even if i didn't have students.

i don't know why i feel sad. all of a sudden, while chatting online, i just suddenly felt how pointless everything is. i know it'll pass, cuz i'm normally a pretty happy person...but i just can't help feeling like there are so many things to take care of in life,and so little time. none of it seems like it's worth the effort anymore. on top of that, there's so much drama surrounding everyone and everything. is pisses me off that there is a major lack of communication in general. ugh, sometimes, i wish i could just lay down, close my eyes, and disappear... get myself away from worries--forever.

2002-06-15T01:56:00.000-07:00

today has been pretty boring...woke up to go to my lil bro's graduation from HS... a funny thing happened:

I was walking through the crowd to find my bro, and i walk past this 10 year old boy, he must've been around 4'2" or so. anyway, i was walking past him, and i caught him looking at my boobs!!!! what a little pervert!!!

ok, so that's all i did today...i miss my friends (from SD as well as Arc). and i'm not going to get to go to anyone's graduation =( i won't be back to SD till sun morn. which BTW reminds me, I need to go get my tattoo!!! so if you're reading this and want to go with me (or better yet, want to get one with me), let me know!!!

ok, that's it...